7 Elements of True Consent

Shalom Bayit’s award-winning teen program, Love Shouldn’t Hurt, prevents teen dating abuse by working with teens and their parents to create a culture of consent and respect in our Jewish community.

7 Elements of True Consent: Your Checklist

1. Respect for a “no” response – If one partner says they don’t want to be touched, they are listened to.

2. Equal power – Both parties have the same say-so, and are peers of the same age.

3. Explicitly desired – Both parties agree, without peer pressure.

4. Informed – Everyone has the same understanding of the activity and what is being asked.

5. Continuously negotiated – They pause periodically to ask, “Is this still okay?”

6. Revocable – At any time, any party involved has the right to change their mind and call a halt. As soon as someone wants the activity to stop, it stops without consequences.

7. Clear-minded – Things that can get in the way of clear mindedness include being overly tired/stressed, recently experiencing a trauma/big life change, and alcohol, drugs, other substances. These are examples of mental states that could lead us to make decisions that, later, we wish we hadn’t. In those mindsets, our ability to make decisions is compromised.